[16]
Yesterday I wrote a diary and lied down in bed, but I fell asleep. Do you think I’m tired? When I woke up, the party that got up before me was busily welcoming the morning. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and started stretching my sore muscles.
I don’t know what was said among the group while I was sleeping early, but Jinsu informed me that each of us took turns to stay awake at sunset. I answered gravely, but inwardly I was a little relieved. The party has now begun to think for themselves and act rationally. It’s a good change. I feel a little lighter in my luggage.
We started eating first. It was canned and a few slices of biscuits, but the long empty stomach between dinner and night seemed precious even to such humble food. The group looked sad because of the small amount of food, but slowly chewed and swallowed the small but precious food.
I played canned and biscuits to Chae-yeon, and I started eating, too. When I looked inside the bag while chewing on a stiff biscuit, I could see the number of cans that were significantly reduced. I took them all out, put them on the table, and checked the quantity. Even though he was saving as much as possible, he could eat canned food for three days and biscuits for a week.
As the number of people increased, the rate of food shrinking was evident. She shook her head, looking at Chae-yeon, smiling, as if she was happy to eat together, even though she thought she had brought the survivors. It’s a kid who likes people. My action was a good choice. Let’s just think positive.
On the contrary, however, it became dark when it was placed in a realistic situation. Soon as the food starts to run out, you have to head back to the city. A future that may die, a life like this must be repeated without a dream or hope. My mouth was bitter, so I stopped chewing biscuits, and swallowed the water.
The future is nowhere to be seen. Lack of food and a relatively unsafe shelter. Even though they know that something needs to be done, they can’t make any concrete plans. I felt as if I were walking on a foggy road. When I turn my head and look at the group, my face is yellow.
Chae-yeon also feels that she is losing weight. Physical strength is reduced infinitely, and nutrition is also slowly deteriorating. Due to the low temperature, immunity is reduced, and germs that are usually harmless bring disease. Only the worst-case scenario hits my head. A rational thought seemed to tell us that this fine line had to be stopped soon.
When my face darkened, the party stopped eating and kept their mouths shut. At that moment, the noisy party becomes quiet. And he starts to show the depression he’s been hiding. I have to spend the day hiding from them again today. This narrow, narrow shelter was all we had. Freedom and character become too shabby before survival.
The mood of melancholy lingered for some time. Chae-yeon looks around like a hamster, gnawing at biscuits like she doesn’t know English. I stroked Chae-yeon’s hair and opened my mouth to change the mood. As I said before, there was a manual water pump near the shelter. Today is sunny and warmer than usual, so why don’t you pump water out of the pump and wash it?”
Two women suddenly brighten up at the sound of washing. Jinsu also smiles awkwardly, scratching his tangled hair. I pretended to wash my face looking at Chae-yeon, who was dirty, and Chae-yeon smiled brightly as if she understood.
Even if you can’t take a bath due to the cold weather, it will be possible to wash your head and face. I went into the shelter bathroom in one corner. Of course no water came out, and I opened the toilet……. I won’t elaborate. Then there was a half-used soap on one side, and a large basin.
The front of the water pump was too open space. It is safe to take water from here. I packed a large basin, opened the bathroom door and came out. When Kang Su-ryeon and Jin-su said they would come up with water, they said they would come up with water. Lee Hye-in’s face brightened a lot when she ran to her side.
At first, I thought it was dangerous, so I tried to go, but suddenly I came to the side and changed my mind when I saw Chae-yeon holding my hand. Every time I came back from outside, I could see that the party was especially wary. Are you worried that I’m going to leave you? I readily extended the basin to relieve any of their anxiety.
I approached the window and looked outside for a moment. It bothers me that it’s a little cloudy today, but once I checked that there’s no one around, I opened the door. The party carefully went out with the basin and empty water bottles. Soon the door was closed, and I looked at them from the window towards the water pump.
Are you so happy to wash up? As they walked with light steps, they were worried but smiled. After confirming that the group arrived safely in front of the water pump, they took their eyes off the window. And after holding Chae-yeon in her arms, she began to look through her diary. Still, I realize how much time has passed because of my diary. It’s not a long time, but I feel like months have passed.
I recalled the past by reading my diary. Chae-yeon is still chewing on a biscuit as if she hasn’t finished it. And sitting on my lap, I kept my eyes open from the diary I saw. I let him scribble on my notebook for fear of boredom, but soon he sits still to see if he’s tired of it.
The more I read the diary, the more painful and troubled I continue to suffer. I pretended not to, but the situation has tightened me physically and psychologically. It’s actually very painful. a sense of uneasiness that one has no choice but to head for the city And the fear of dying them at any time drives stress to the limit.
You should at least pick up all the winter supplies before the weather gets colder. And we had to build a useful shelf to make sure we were safe. Time is not on our side. Neither I nor my party is getting tired.
(There are bitter traces left.)
* * *
I was looking at the diary and suddenly I heard a scream. Surprised, I put down my diary and hurried to find the window. Then she put Chae-yeon on her stomach, grabbed the window in her hand, and looked out through the window. Are they? Who was screaming? The idea of dominated the brain.
Looking out, Jinsu, who was being beaten, was the first to see. And it was two women screaming. I’ve identified who’s the one who’s hitting Jin-su with the most calm and shaking vision.
Movement is a person. And the clothes he was wearing were military uniforms. Soldier! The soldier was alone, his right leg wet with blood. Why would a soldier attack us? My head was complicated. The soldier continues to beat the rebellious Jin-su with a dog’s head. Jinsu collapsed helplessly, but managed to get back on his feet whether he had fainted.
The soldier, who saw it, pointed the gun at the Jinsu and Jinsu hesitated. The women screamed and rushed at the soldier to try to take the gun away. Lee Hye-in was crying, and Kang Soo-ryeon looked this way with a pale face.
The soldier shook off the two with a young face, and kicked Jin-su’s face with military boots. And grabbed Lee Hye-in’s head. Lee Hye-in screamed with a face distorted by pain, and Kang tried to take him away somehow.
I saw Chae-yeon. Chae-yeon was holding a biscuit tightly in her hand, and with a frightened face, she was in tears. I pointed to the bathroom by covering Chae-yeon with a blanket. Chae-yeon shook her head with a limp, but when I looked stern, she burst into tears and walked to the bathroom.
And looking out of the window again, Jin-su was lying on the floor with a painful face, perhaps completely overpowered. The women were also knocked down on the floor, as if they had been beaten one by one. The soldier was aiming his gun here exactly.
‘Get out!’
I swallowed my saliva. He knew how many we all had. Attract here, or hit back. All the plans for have disappeared. I hid the window behind my back. And I put a bullet-free revolver that I brought from the bathroom in my pocket. And slowly opened the door. When I opened the door, the soldier pointed his gun at me with a jaded face.
And he shouted, pointing the gun at my head as if he knew everything.
“Get rid of the spear!”
Slowly I put the window down on the floor and raised my hand slowly. The right leg is bleeding. Is he a deserter? But why are you doing this to us? Plunder? Did you follow me? Many questions passed through my head, but in the end, the only end that the idea reached was the disastrous result. The soldier’s face overlaps with the face of an unidentified man who had previously killed him.
I found one strange thing then. What’s this foreign paint? Is he hesitating to kill us? You have the most threatening weapon, the gun? Why didn’t the women shoot Jinsu, who was fiercely resisting, even if they kept him alive for their own desires?
The soldier approached me slowly, pointing a gun at me. step by step He and I are beginning to get closer. The soldier’s face was quite complex. Are you hesitating or are you’ Are you afraid? Why?
Time goes slowly. The cold air cools my cold sweat. The cold gun was about to knock me through the head.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t get rid of the strange foreign object. He rolled his eyes and looked behind the soldier. Kang Su-ryeon was lying dead as if she had fainted, and Lee Hye-in was complaining of pain with her stomach full. But Jinsu whined and turned toward me. And my eyes meet with me while exhaling a cough. The eyes were desperately saying something.
It wasn’t giving up or despair. The eyes were telling me something.
What happens if I overpower you? In this crazy world, will he keep us alive? No, even if we were to keep us alive, what if the ultimate purpose was to loot? All the food is taken away, and we may be kicked out. So… …what about Chae-yeon? And the party?
Should we all die like this?
Cold sweat runs down the tip of the nose and falls on the floor. Jinsu, who looks at something desperately. And Chae Yeon who is waiting for me from behind. I can feel the weight of a heavy revolver in my pocket. I, I have to gamble a lifetime. That dangerous gamble that I judge solely by my intuition.
I relaxed my posture. I can see the soldier’s embarrassment. Then, as if trying to erase the embarrassment, he screams and pulls in the gun. And for a moment I take a revolver out of my pocket and point it at the soldier. A clumsy aiming position, an empty cylinder without bullets. a terrible psychological warfare in exchange for life
The soldier flinch with embarrassment as the gun pointed at him. The soldier doesn’t know I don’t have a bullet. Then there are two things a soldier will do. Either shoot me pointing a gun at myself, or I can’t shoot me. If I shoot, I die, if I don’t shoot, there’s only one answer.
Behind him, the struggling half-baked Jinsu overcomes the pain and makes a desperate cry.
Hey, man! He’s got no bullets!
Soldiers panic. My trembling eyes meet me.
I caught a window that fell on the floor. And then he rushed fast at him.